Hey there! Happy New Year! I can’t believe it’s almost been a year since my last post, and I have to say that I am very sorry and a little embarrassed. Truth be told, after my last post, I found out I was pregnant, and let’s just say – I kind of got thrown off my rocker. I do not do pregnancy well, because, for me, they are accompanied by many physical ailments besides the crazy hormones. I become somewhat anti-social and basically function on survival mode.
Fast forward to now. I have a lovely baby girl and I adore her to pieces, but I am not going to lie, I was not ready to be a mom of two and it took everything in me to embrace and prepare for what I was about to embark on. The truth is, I do not think you can ever really prepare for parenthood. It seems that no matter how many stories I hear, books I read, or videos I watched, I felt like I am basically learning through trial and error. The lessons are very different from one child to two children, but it is certainly less painful with the love and support of friends and family.
I am extremely grateful and blessed with the help I received from my community, because I do not think I could have survived the first month without meal deliveries, outsourcing my chores, having someone else entertain my older son, all while I try to keep the baby alive. I pride myself in being independent to a fault and asking for help is difficult for me. It took a lot of vulnerability to accept help and surrender to the lack of control in certain things in my life, but it has also been beneficial to my sanity.
After only a month off from work, I was not quite ready to return, but the nature of being self-employed is that I do not have the luxury to take too much time off. I cannot complain because I love what I do, but it is challenging with a newborn and no sense of balance yet.
I have had my share of pity parties as well as pep talks in an effort to get my sh*t together. I feel like a failure most days, but what I can say is that I continue to keep moving and doing, and not let my excuses stop me from living my life or working on my dreams. I cannot say that I have come to the other side or figured it all out, so I try to plan as much as I can and take it one day at a time.
After a year off from the blog, I was tempted to quit. It seemed like the perfect excuse, since I had not been active anyway, but I love this project and had to remind myself why I started it. Since its inception, I have developed amazing friendships with the mompreneurs and learned a lot about myself and what is important to me.
Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and I feel a lot of guilt about continuing to do what I love — even though I do not love it as much as I love my children. I realized it is so important for me to remain creative and have a sense of autonomy, so that I can be a better person for my family and community.
It is my version of self-care, just as I talked about in all my past interviews. It’s imperative to prioritize in our lives. I think it is important for me to send this personal message in hopes to encourage others who have had life-changing experiences to allow themselves to get back to the things they love that inspires them. It is OK to feel like a failure at times, it is OK to forgive yourself, and it is never too late to try again. I am looking forward to sharing the changes with Mompreneur Mindset with you!
A special thanks to my dear friend and fellow photographer, Aurora of Pearly Hens Photography for taking my portraits, and providing love and support as one of my community members!
Xoxo,
Sakhon
I am glad to see you back to writing your blog. You’re a natural at motherhood, and you write well about it.
Thank you for the kind compliment! I appreciate your reading and supporting my journey!